It’s Okay To Not Be Okay

“We should all be allowed to fall apart sometimes, so that we can find ourselves all over again.”

After a recent conversation with a very good friend, I have been thinking about this saying more than ever. We were discussing all about life and its challenges, specifically about finances, how debilitating anxiety can be, and all the other stresses we have as we face the “Real World.”

After our conversation, I was left with complicated emotions. On one hand I felt a sense of joy in the fact that in our day and age we are now able to communicate much more openly about our feelings and anxieties without the stigmas that used to be attached. With that being said, I also felt a deep sense of sadness and regret that I was so unaware of how my friend was feeling at this point in their life. For someone I am so close to, I felt like I let them down for not knowing exactly how they were feeling or a sense of them not wanting to come to me earlier with their stresses.

I think we all make the mistake of assuming from what we see from the outside that people are always okay. Don’t make this mistake. Always make time no matter how busy you are to check in to see how your friends are. Hey, it’s a bonus to catch up even if everything is A-OKAY with them, and it will also remind them that they should check in on you too!

I think another mistake is that we think just because our society has become much more vocal and always talking about how we feel, that people are willing to come to us with their struggles. I find more often than not that people feel like they are a “burden” and that we have to internalize our feelings.

Speaking frankly here, sometimes I have felt that I’m posting too much, putting too much out there on social media, and that I become a burden to anyone following me. Crazy how the brain can work sometimes right? I will say I can’t (and won’t) stop my mission to empower and try to better other peoples’ lives, even if sometimes my head goes to a place of me being a burden to others.

I want people to realize that sometimes your friends can’t get there just yet, and that is why it’s good to always be aware, that “It’s Okay to Not Be Okay”, and remind your friends of this too! One of the things I believe most in life, is that having a great group of friends, or a “Vibe Tribe” is no coincidence. I truly believe that if you put out good energy and you’re a good friend to someone, you will get that in return. If you are not getting back what you give, SHOW THE HATERS THE DOOR.

With that bit of advice, sometimes when people seem incapable of being the friend you’re looking for, I challenge you to express empathy, as many people are hiding mental struggles and if they are not okay, it may be hard for them to check in on you if they can’t even help themselves. This is not to give bad friends a good excuse, but to be aware that while we should see both ends reciprocating in friendship, sometimes at some points in someone’s life they are incapable, and we should just be more aware of that.

When You Assume, You Make an Ass Out of Yourself

We will never reach a point in life, where we can be like “Okay I’m done learning, I know it all, I’m done with my growth.” None of us will ever have all the answers, and I really believe that to be a successful person you just have to want to be the best version of YOU, which means putting effort into making that HAPPEN.

Without a doubt…

• You’re never too busy to check in on friends
• No matter how perfect someone’s life may appear, everyone suffers
• Healthy friendships and relationships take effort

Personally speaking, I notice within myself that sometimes everything in the world could be going okay, and sometimes that feeling can be overwhelming, like an overwhelming sense of gratitude, and this can unfortunately bring on feelings of not deserving all the good. This is a perfect example that although everything may seem great, sometimes its not, and I know for me, whenever I am down and don’t want to bother my friends, if someone randomly reaches out even just to say hey, sometimes that does the trick! Hence my point, never stop being a friend who checks in on friends and seek the same for yourself.

Open Door Policy

“I do not crave anyone who will fix me, just someone who will hold my hand while I fix myself.”

One of the most epic parts of the mentality of the world at this time, is that people are finding the courage to use their voice much more than before, and they’re speaking out on what may have been considered “taboo” some years ago. Let me make this clear, that does not mean that everyone is comfortable being so open about their struggles, and while it’s amazing that social media has provided a place that allows others not to feel so alone, I will continue to emphasize that we should all work on being the best possible version of a friend that we can be, and to demand the same back.

Maybe your friends are a little shy about having tough conversations—well, then lead by example. When you open up more about your struggles, I find that this often makes someone else more comfortable with their daily struggles. In conclusion:

• Be the friend you want in return
• Be open to learning more about the struggles your friends may be facing
• Be aware of how you feel and how others feel
• Be open about your own struggles- you’re helping pave the way for others AND last but not least…It’s Okay to Not Be Okay.

Vibes
Xo,