Comparison is the Thief of Joy

Think “Keeping Up with the Jones’” or I guess at this point truly “Keeping up with the Kardashians.”

Social Media: The Good and The Bad

I know, I know… this topic may seem extremely OFF-BRAND, as I am a self-proclaimed lover of social media and my entire livelihood revolves around Merey-Go-Round.

While I personally find that social media is an amazing way to keep in close contact with friends, family, old co-workers, etc., as you’re able to have regular interactions with them and see what is going on in their daily lives.

It honestly feels like you see the person everyday even if much time has passed, that’s one of my favorite things about social media.

AGAIN, this is my opinion.

I find that Social Media not only provides public figures with a platform, but can also be used to raise awareness for special causes or life-changing events on an everyday level.  For example, “Go Fund Me” accounts or news of an engagement or new baby!

** Disclaimer** This does not include gender reveal parties as I personally do not like these, but to each their own!

While all of this is positive, I understand that social media can become negative for many people and that is what I want to talk about.

Comparison is the Thief of Joy

This is an all-time favorite quote of mine. While growing up, my mom would consistently say this to my siblings and myself, so I will give credit where credit is due to my sweet MJ.

Prior to the explosion of the internet and social media, while there was a sense of “Keeping up with the Jones’,” usually the Jones’ were just your neighbor, not the entire world.

Due to the easy accessibility of the internet, it takes about .03 seconds to post that new purse you just got or about how you have the greatest boyfriend in the world as your #MCM.

Not to go off on a tangent, but I certainly hope you WOULD classify your significant other as your #MCM or #WCW but that’s a topic for another time, lol.

While I personally believe that social media is a wonderful platform to display your personality, passions, and uniqueness while helping you to maintain relationships, I also believe that each person should use social media in the way they want (SCREW SOCIAL MEDIA NORMS).

That being said, while I find social media generally positive, there are times where I believe it’s okay to take a step away from it or try to be more aware of anything on social media that is a negative trigger for you. Toxicity should have a place in no one’s life.

“Your Story is Unique and SO Different. It’s Not Worthy of Comparison.”

Authenticity. You Can’t Fake It.

I will say this time and time again, the reason that I try to post as much “unfiltered” and “authentic” posts, pictures and videos, is to steer away from the idea that anyone’s life is perfect. I know my life is far from perfect and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I actually find that on days when I am trying too hard for the camera, those are the days that I truly find no passion in social media, and it feels forced and so unlike me. I’ve also noticed that anytime I’ve tried to overdo a post, I get the least engagement! This is just proof that people are more receptive to authenticity, YOU CAN’T FAKE IT!

A lot of what we see on social media is people posting how they want you to perceive their life to be—regardless of how far from reality it actually is.

If you’re someone who is consistently posting lies about the reality of your life, if this brings you joy then keep on keeping on I suppose, but I cannot imagine that it does just knowing how I feel whenever I post something that I feel isn’t an exact replication of my life at that time.

Authenticity PEOPLE. NEVER BE AFRAID TO BE YOURSELF. It’s exhausting trying to be someone else.

Oh, and if you love to play parts, I suggest going into ACTING. This isn’t a joke this used to be a dream of mine!!!

• It’s important to remember that NO ONE IS PERFECT, no matter how amazing their Instagram looks
• It’s also important to NEVER COMPARE, you never know what internal wars people are fighting
• Work hard to be the BEST YOU and the MOST AUTHENTIC YOU POSSIBLE!

Screw the Social Media Norms

I am VERY passionate about this topic, and I know that this may get taken in the wrong way and may be very controversial, but in the effort of remaining authentic here we go!

While I completely respect and understand that there is a certain science behind social media, meaning there are statistical facts about times when you should be posting for higher engagement, and proven ways to get more followers, etc etc.

I also respect the hell out of those blogger pioneers who have set the bar so high, but also allowed us wannabe influencers to work in this space—so, thank you! Also, thank you for being so open about what works for you!

While I understand all of this and respect the business, obviously what brings me the most joy within social media is that this is my way to show my REAL and AUTHENTIC everyday life… the good, the bad and the ugly.

I also love that social media provides me with an outlet to discuss topics that I want to be more informed about or things going on in my life where I need an outlet.

I love the FREEDOM of being able to post what I want, when I want.

I guess the moral of this is that what you see from me is not overly-filtered pictures where I’m acting like my life is completely perfect. But for me, by being so open on social media, it has allowed me to accept my flaws and to open myself up to hopefully encourage others to try to portray an honest image of themselves.

I would say that social media can be an extremely positive place as long as you are willing to keep it real. I think social media can become extremely toxic when you start trying to keep up with others, or you become envious of their lives.

I can guarantee that in most cases you too will find social media much more enjoyable as long as you’re portraying a completely honest and authentic image of yourself.

This does not mean you can’t throw a bad-bitch filter on your pictures, and post a fun or cheesy caption while on a beach or apple picking doing basic b**** things… but don’t try to do anything for anyone else; always be true to yourself!

How to Change your Relationship with Social Media (if negative)

While I absolutely hope that people will want to follow me along in my journey, my journey and what I want to convey is all about self-care.

What this means is that if you find that social media is taking a negative toll on you MENTALLY, it’s time to start using it differently or trying to find a way to use it positively.

Example:
Think of someone you follow on social who you always feel is “oversharing” or “bragging” about their life and all of their accomplishments, maybe career-wise or with their material assets.

HOPEFULLY MY NAME DOESN’T COME TO MIND. Lol.

Or say you see someone posting overly political statements that go completely against your beliefs and this INFURIATES YOU and sometimes you even engage in an all-out political war.

If this particular person gets under your skin so much and causes you to think you don’t have enough and that your life is so much LESS than them, MUTE THEM or REMOVE THEM.

We have all the power at our fingertips (literally speaking). If someone has that much power over you, it’s time for them to no longer serve a purpose in your LIFE.

“Don’t let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.”

If, for some reason you don’t want to completely block someone, then mute them, and maybe come back to them if you want. If you don’t want to do either but insist someone is bothering you, then deep down in my humble opinion, you secretly enjoy following them as a “guilty pleasure” so to speak.

Like anything in life, the way people act is a direct reflection of how they’re feeling so it’s important to not take things so personally.

Influencer Take Over

Like anything in life, everything serves a purpose and social media is no different.

For example, within the “Influencer” world it is our job to post often and to engage with followers.

While I personally find that blogging can provide so many amazing resources for people, depending on what you’re looking for and while it is a hobby for many people, it is also a job as well, meaning they (we) also need to find ways to provide for ourselves as well.

That means is those ADS that I know some people find very annoying, I can assure you that the products that are being represented are what bloggers are passionate about.

I know for me I SUCKED in the sales world out of college selling payroll, so I would never be able to push something I wasn’t passionate about, and I think this holds true for most bloggers as well.

If, however, you’re finding the content overload too much or steering away from what originally drew you in, I would highly encourage using your voice (I would also encourage doing so in a positive and constructive way)!

Feedback is good as long as it’s constructive and not mean-spirited. Bloggers appreciate it and NEED it in order to continue with their businesses.

If you honestly hate who you’re following, be the bigger person and block them instead of trolling.

**Disclaimer** I am being a little hypocritical with this—as a life-long Steelers fan I have the guilty pleasure of trolling Tom Brady on IG, lol. I promise I keep it clean about football only, and never involve his wife or children. I Guess BYE BYE to any of my Patriot fan followers, LOL.

Former Flames or Friends

Again, I find social media to be very unique and very personal, meaning that you should be getting exactly what YOU need from it.

With that being said, lets chat about following your EX-FLAME or EX-Friend.

All situations are different, but I would say in most instances in the case of an ex bf/gf or friend, it’s usually best to not follow them.

The EX Files

Speaking from experience, I do follow my EX on social. HOWEVER, to be 100% authentic and real, I will say that shortly after my break-up, I was checking in too often, and especially looking to see if any girls were engaging with him.

While I was over the relationship and moving on, there was something about checking on his social media that made me go backwards when I was working so hard to continue to move forward.

Regardless of the fact that I knew it was right to MOVE ON, seeing him with another GIRL… that hurt, and brought on all sorts of feelings that could have been avoided if I simply MUTED him.

Mute. Mute. Mute.

After about a month of seeing my ex with his new girlfriend, I made the executive decision for my well-being to MUTE him. I did not feel the need to block, but that is up to you.

It helped a lot and allowed me to get back to my clear mindset of moving onward and upward, I didn’t need to torture myself by seeing him moving on while I was still single.

Problem SOLVED.

Be SELF-AWARE.  If you’re the one who was broken up with, I would nine times out of ten suggest removing your ex because the image of him/her moving on may be unbearable or delay your progress of moving forward!

In terms of actually blocking someone, I have done this only ONCE and it was an extremely toxic friendship, where there were “love triangles” to say the least, and it wasn’t healthy to continue having them as one of my followers and me the same.

I would also encourage that you do not use your social media for REVENGE or to make someone JEALOUS. In my opinion, if you use it for this reason you can’t actually be happy, and it is delaying you from moving on from a situation and disturbing your inner peace, TRUST ME.

On a final note, and I know this sounds harsh, but you look DESPERATE and no one is attracted to DESPERATION.

“The reason why we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.”
—Steven Furtick

“Confidence is not comparing yourself to others.”

Keep it real, keep it positive, keep it authentic, BE YOU ONLY, no one else can do it!

Vibes
Xo,