Living Life with Lupus

  This post is dedicated to all of my Lupus and Auto-immune Warriors in specific, but for anyone who day in and day out fights “invisible” battles, may you know that you are not alone, you are heard, and you are seen, I stand with you.

 Side Note: IN true “Lupus Fashion” I had every intention of getting this blog out for World Lupus Day (May 10^th) but I fell into a “flare up” over the weekend So I needed to listen to my body (which is so hard for me #fomo) With that, always honor your space and allow yourself whatever it is your body is asking for! Release the guilt, and just be.

 

 I Have Lupus Now What!? Part Two

   One of my very first blogs that I “debuted” on my launch night, was referring to living life with lupus  and to date it’s my most read blog.

I used to wonder why out of all my blogs- this was the one that people read the most- but through this journey and whenever someone I know- finds out I have Lupus- they are shocked because they say something along the lines of:

“But you’re so positive and full of high energy!”

“You don’t look sick.”

“You seem like you lead a normal life.”  

“You have so much fun!”

“Your always working out, I am so surprised.”

Or unsolicited advice (most don’t) about how I should be conducting myself.

“Make sure you’re getting enough rest!”

“But you drink and are ALWAYS OUT.”

“You shouldn’t drink if you have that.”

“Don’t burn the candle at both ends.”

I will not put words into anyone’s mouths, but I think why it’s so shocking that I suffer from such a cruel and invisible disease, is because by the looks of it- or by the looks of what you see on Instagram, I am by all MEANS- living a healthy and “positive” lifestyle.

The thing is, that Lupus has made me realize that sure there are really bad days- but those always pass, and to make the most of the good days- because you see the beauty in the simple things in life.

Again- I am not saying to sugar coat your entire life and think “good vibes only” for everything, but by shifting your mindset to more of what you appreciate you will find so many more opportunities of things to “appreciate” then if you were looking at all that you don’t have #manifest.

Truth Serum

The real and authentic truth is, that when I was initially diagnosed(sophomore year of college, 2012) , it was by mere “accident” and I didn’t have many symptoms  that presented themselves until years later(more so in the last year and half) so it didn’t really affect me the way it does now.

So just like most things in life, until they are directly affecting you, often we do not draw our mind to them- and this was no different for me.

 So back in 2012 sure I had the life sentence of the diagnosis but at the time, nothing was limiting me or getting in the way.

Sometimes I feel like I’m on the outside looking in, when realizing that I truly have Lupus ,as you never think of yourself as “being sick” or as having something that makes you physically “weaker” (for lack of better words) and a lot of the mental limitations as well (anxiety, depression, and brain fog- etc etc) all come along with #lupuslife.

I will say that I have never felt more “disabled” or more restrained than I have in my entire life as I did the start of the pandemic.

Everywhere I would look, every news channel- they were honing in on how at risk the “immune compromised” were, the drug I have even taken for many years, Plaquenil was also making mainstream news.

I had people projecting their fears onto me and making statements like “well if I were you I definitely would be taking more safety measures, more than “normal people.”

The pandemic really proved to me, that I am not “normal” and that no matter how healthy I feel, or how “invincible” lupus feels – #imwithlupus

 But hey- I always said I wanted to be OUT OF THE ORDINARY (:

(Side Note, this outlook has allowed me to see all the opportunities lupus has presented me with as opposed to the limitations. I am by no means discounting the daily struggles or promoting toxic positivity merely showing how to switch your mindset to lead a happier life!)

SO With THAT HOWEVER, Toxic Positivity NEED NOT APPLY….

Life Lessons Learned from Lupus

“The only way out is through.”

   There is nothing I am more passionate about then staying authentic to your truth and owning it- no matter how messy it can be, so with that I always feel compelled to speak out on being my most authentic self.

 While I will completely own, that by adapting to a healthy and positive mindset (on most days) I do not support toxic positivity and there are going to be really good days, and then some really, really hard days (and nights) where the pain seems unimaginable, but like anything “this too shall pass” is the guiding force.

 With that, I wanted to share about some of the lifestyle and mental health lessons I have learned, that are helping me weather this beast of Lupus.

I believe they can be aligned to any challenge in life as well, not just specific to Lupus!

 

MY Mind Moves at 200 MPH While my Body Moves at 50%

“I am a warrior, and I was chosen for this life, because I can handle this life.”  

  I think the hardest part about Lupus for me, besides the (physical pain) is that my mind is programed to run at 200 MPH- I mean HELLO I am the queen of anxiety, overthinking, and wanting to be on the GO-GO-GO (HELLO mereyGO-round- Lol!)

 For awhile I used to think it was a cruel fate, that I was almost trapped in a body that was “failing me” (oh how dark our minds can go) when in reality I have learned, that there is no such thing as a mistake- and that maybe because my mind runs so fast- with a limitless mindset- maybe my body needs to be like this, to tell me and to show me that I need to relax and that it’s okay to slow down.

 We all should learn to listen to our bodies- and maybe mine shows me that I’m run down before yours- but we should all listen to the signs that are being presented to ourselves- both physically and mentally (all health is inter-connected.)

 Instead of Should-Shame Guilting myself into all the things “I think I should be doing” I now have a newfound respect for protecting my peace and energy (by only surrounding myself in situations and with people that bring me that) and also by learning to listen to my body when it tells me to slow down.

I think we can all use a little more of that!

There is Nothing You have Yet to NOT Overcome

  I saw a quote recently on Instagram that said something along the lines of “everything will always work out, I mean think about, look back at everything in life, there is nothing you have yet to overcome- correct?”

It couldn’t be more true, even in the darkest of times when we cannot see the light, there is always light at the end, and an even greater learning opportunity for every time we pull ourselves out of darkness.

I mean its empowering as hell am I right!? Those moments when you feel so low, but then when you rise up again and come out stronger than ever, those countless life lessons- but most importantly realizing that there is nothing you cannot overcome- there is power in that, and I just want to remind everyone of that.

So yes, I’ve realized that there is nothing I cannot overcome, as someone who is constantly being challenged #challengeaccepted

And I know the same for you all no matter what your facing- repeat after me

“The Only Way Out is Through.”

Never Know What Someone Is battling: Empathy and Non-Judgement

  I truly believe that deep down when I was born, I was designed as an ‘Empath” (something I would only recently discover as an actual mindset) to help show others how far kindness and empathy can go, as I myself appreciate it so much when it’s bestowed on me!

So as I referenced above, by the looks of things, everything seems to be going smooth and well for me, but what people don’t always see is the long nights of grueling pain, muscle aches, swollen and inflamed joints, endless brain fog, insomnia and anxiety- or wondering

“How will my body show up for me tomorrow?”

I remember when I was at my last job, I always feared calling out “sick” because of judgment and my worst fear did come true one day when I finally summoned the courage to call out because my pain was unbearable and I had a co- worker slack me to say “you hungover?”

I remember that my heart sank, and a pit filled my stomach, and I became increasingly anxious, typing away trying to explain myself (sigh- what I know now!)

Don’t EXPLAIN Yourself Too Those Dedicated to Not Understanding

  We spend so much of our lives trying to impress other people or to “prove” our worth in society either through a career, having kids, getting married or towards whatever it may be.

 We are constantly justifying and explaining our actions in order to make sure that we are not misunderstood.

 Well you know what!??

Those who ride with you in your tribe, they won’t need an explanation- SO STOP GIVING IT.

If anyone ever questions you, you should think long and hard about where they are in your life, because those who love you will know that you are always coming from the best place.

NO EXPLANATION REQUIRED, find your vibe tribe and never let them go- and show others the door.

As long as you know your truth, and you are staying authentic to your values and who you are- that is all that matters.

I MEAN IT- stay true to you and the right people will find their way into your lives, and the wrong people will be shown the door!

One Day At A Time

 If anyone is familiar with AA you have probably seen this term, and it’s something that I have started to take as my own.

 I more so even simplify it down even more to “One Task at A Time” and this has helped me to actually be more productive, less anxious and less overwhelm because I am focusing on just the task at hand- being present in whatever I am doing.

 I cannot empathize enough the power in tackling it “one thing at a time.”

By just focusing on what your doing, you allow your mind to go into a state of flow, and you eliminate stress and anxiety- only controlling what is right in front of you- not shaming yourself over “all that you have to get done.”

Listen- stress literally KILLS so its time to start making more lifestyle changes, so start small- after all, all the small stuff is really the big stuff!

 Not Happening to Me, Happening For Me

 In the coaching program I am currently enrolled in we are taught certain principles to live by (if they so resonate) and the one that comes to me EVERY SINGLE DAY is the following

“It’s not happening to me, it’s happening for me.”

 Now with this, it can be tricky when you are in the middle of a tough situation to be able to come to this realization- but it has helped me to truly look for the silver lining or the lesson within every situation- especially the more tricky they SEEM (Hello Global Pandemic for example.)

 See for me, Lupus has led me to a life of wanting to help others to navigate through obstacles in life, showing you that there Is nothing you cannot overcome, and inspiring others to do whatever it is that sets their souls on fire.

Lupus has led me to implementing boundaries in my own life, learning who my tribe is, and towards Becoming a Life Coach.

Without Lupus I wouldn’t be where I am today.

Lupus you twisted bitch you lol.

 

And End Scene

  Life is really hard, like REALLY, REALLY hard and we are all still reeling and trying to pick up the pieces to our lives as a result of being in lockdown for over a year.

Some things in life, while we do not know exactly why they are happening to us, by changing the mindset to “they are happening for us” we can start to work towards our own mental healing.

If I can leave you with one thing, it simply would be that there is nothing that you have been handed or will be handed, that you cannot handle.

The only way out is moving through.

Follow your dreams, life is far too short to be wasted.

 

“Let everything happen to you. Beauty and Terror. Just Keep Going. No Feeling Is Final.” – Rainer Marie Rilke

 

Vibes
Xo,