Anxiety, You’re the Definition of Bad Vibes

Let me tell you, life can suck. Life is hard and being an adult is scary and ridden with anxiety. WE ALL KNOW THIS! Que the quote that goes something like, “When we were kids, all we wanted was to grow up, now the joke’s on us, and we all want to be young again.” While I like to think of myself as a happy person on most days, I also have bad days, or a series of dark days or dark periods of time. Can anyone else relate?

ANXIETY, you’re the DEVIL. There’s really no way to describe the way anxiety works because if I understood it I probably wouldn’t have it. OMG IMAGINE THAT. 

Where are my UNICORNS, anyone who doesn’t have anxiety!? LEGIT, DROP A COMMENT. 

** ANXIETY is REAL, and to anyone who says “Just take a breath,” “It’s ok,” ‘Why don’t you just calm down?”**

  Thank you SO much for making my anxiety even worse. Here’s a thought… if I could calm down don’t you think I would? While I’m sure most of you think you’re helping, when people minimize the severity of anxiety, what they don’t realize is that they are belittling a real-life mental health condition. Telling me to “calm down” or “just breathe” during an anxiety attack falls into the same category of when you lose something and someone says “Where is the last place you left it.” UMMMM, if I knew where I left it, why would I be asking you? If I knew how to calm down, why wouldn’t I just calm down? Get it?

EDUCATION IS KEY

ANXIETY is a real mental health condition that makes you feel apprehension and uncertain about current situations, social situations or future situations. You also will tend to overanalyze and overthink any and ALL situations. It’s not just this apprehensive, overanalyzing and overthinking feelings, it can also feel PHYSICAL.

Think:

• Teeth Grinding
• Uncontrollable Shakes
• Heart Pounding
• Blushing Face
• Clamming/Sweaty Palms
• Dizziness

OMG, does anyone else have anxiety just reading that?! I am SO sorry, let’s move forward here.

The morale of the above is that if you’re someone who is LUCKY enough not to ever experience such symptoms, try to take a different perspective when dealing with someone who is. Why, you ask? Because by discounting or undermining someone’s feelings in most cases you are undermining a mental health condition that you are lucky enough not to have. Additionally, by doing so you may make someone feel like they are weak, or worse yet, making up their symptoms. By doing all of the above, in return you usually also create…BINGO, you guessed it—more ANXIETY.

Anxiety has at times been crippling for me, and even debilitating. SO, if you feel this way you’re absolutely not alone! Let’s chat through this.

Scenarios

Ever have a conversation about random sh** while getting water with a coworker? For people without anxiety they probably don’t even remember the small talk, BUT FOR US WITH ANXIETY, OMG! I could OVERTHINK and OVERANALYZE for hours what I said to someone, how it came off, and if they’re thinking I’m rude. This doesn’t always happen, but this is what Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) looks like. Why must we do this, idk ANXIETY, why?!

What I have learned is that if you educate yourself on the reasoning behind your triggered uneasiness (sorry…sick of writing anxiety) it can help you to calm yourself down, or learn more about what TRIGGERS you to help alleviate.

** Disclaimer, Personal Opinion, and Hot Take** I don’t think you’re ever cured of ANXIETY completely, however I have found ways to manage ANXIETY in order to be HAPPY.

NOW…… let’s talk about what helps!!!!

YES, we live in a pill happy society and yes, I do have my beta blockers and K-pins for emergencies. However, these should be for ICE ONLY!!!! (In my humble non-medical professional opinion.) On my journey of, “Good Vibes Only,” I have noticed that I rarely, if at all, ever need to reach for the pills.

CBD BABY

CBD (Cannabidiol) is all the fad right now, but let me tell you this SHIT works and this is coming from someone who was very skeptical at first. In short, CBD is derived from Hemp, and it helps your body achieve homeostasis, simply meaning everything is working as it should, by regulating your anxiety, mood, sleep and memory. Sounds good right? Oh, and it’s non- addictive and all natural!
Favorite Brand: Kannaway

ROUTINE

Life gets busy and chaotic, but I find that at least trying to keep to a routine Monday through Friday (around happy hour) is good. What I mean, more sweat from cardio, less shitty food and LIMITED booze, during the week. Listen I’m not Mother Freaking Teresa here. On a Tuesday when “Vanderpump Rules” is in season do I occasionally pour a “glass” of Whispering Angel Rosé?! GUILTY AS CHARGED.

My Personal Weekday Routine 
This is what works for me, just to give you a preview.

Morning Start (I am not a morning person)
Alexa play, “Beautiful” by Carole King or “Bossy” by Kelis. 

Okay now the vibes are flowing.
I really, really have been actively trying to at least read a few pages from a book I’m loving which right now, “Everything is Figureoutable” by Marie Forleo.

If I don’t have the time to read in the morning, I will try to write down a few affirmations or goals for that day. If I have the time, I also find it beneficial to pull up a 5 minute mediation, just something simple on my phone, for FREE. Often, I like meditations that are geared towards, stress or confidence to get my day going.

Work-Day Practices
I am currently working from home, however, something that I started implementing even before quitting my job, is to allow myself to TAKE A BREAK, EAT LUNCH, take a brisk walk, BE WITH THE PEOPLE. Okay, so you’re not a “An Upper East Side Lady who Lunches,” (Bethenny Frankel words, not mine) but you should be “someone who cares about their physical and mental well- being.” AKA, get up, stretch your body, engage in non-work-related conversations and refresh yourself.

Fit Fam
 I am no Alex Morgan or Lindsay Vonn, let’s make that perfectly clear and I highly doubt anyone would ever think of me as someone who rides or dies by Soul Cycle but work with me here. I’m also not someone to be known to turn down the  second glass of wine, or Italian takeout.  HOWEVER, I have found that exercise is not only a win for you physically, but mentally as well. I know, it’s so annoying that on every “Self Help” article, book or speech you hear people say exercise is crucial… but it is! While it may take everything to start, I will almost guarantee you never regret a workout. On days when you feel like you want to crawl up in a ball under your anxiety blanket, these are the days you need to get moving the most. I personally prefer working out at night to burn off the stresses of my day, however some people prefer morning. I just encourage trying to do something.

Night-time wind down
As much as it hurts, I would personally advise on limiting TV because personally it effects my sleep and sleepless nights lead to ANXIETY. I still get my “Housewives” in, but I try to just watch one or two shows at night. Sundays I slay Hulu and Amazon Prime, do not fear! Additionally, as basic as it sounds, I light my lavender candle every night, drink my chamomile lavender tea, and have the essential oils flowing. I don’t care if it’s placebo, I’m creating a Zen environment for myself. WEIRDLY enough, I also have a lavender sloth heat-up pillow that I heat up every night for my joints but it also helps with anxiety. I am obsessed with sloths, and my pillow’s name is Fraggles. Moving on (lol).

Last, but absolutely not least…Journal!
WRITE IT DOWN… express yourself… I have said this before and I will continue to say it! Once you’re finished journaling, write 1-3 things you’re grateful for. Write more if you want!!! YES, this sounds annoying but legit, it works. If you ever read self-help books or believe anything Oprah says, that means it WORKS! One night I can’t even remember at this time why I was so mad, but I remember looking back at my journal and these were my three “Gratitude” posts.

— “Thankful I am not freezing to death outside in this cold.”
— “Thankful I have at least one person I could call to vent.”
— “Thankful I was able to eat today.”

THESE seem so basic, but once you actually write them down, you kind of realize that you’re LUCKY. Having friends and family, a roof over your head, hot meals, those are all things that some people don’t have. HEY, we are entitled to be sad (I hate the word ENTITLED, but it seems fitting). Actually, we’re ALLOWED to be sad but it’s also important to feel grateful more than you feel sad and this is where this exercise comes in. I know, we all love instant gratification, but invest in yourself and I promise you will not regret it. Listen, I won’t pretend that I am SOLVED, because I’m not. I struggle, however, I can say that I ACTIVELY work on myself each and every day and I truly feel like I’m a VERY HAPPY person. Can you HONESTLY say the same?

“I don’t encourage false positivity. Be sad when you’re sad. Cry if you must. Be angry if you are. Let it. out. Then let it go. Honor your emotions but always choose to dwell on the positive ones.”

** Disclaimer** I am by no means a medical professional, and if you feel like you need to seek professional help, do so.

Vibes,
XO