Self Talk: The Good and The Bad

Projections and the Power of Positive Self Talk

Do you ever notice yourself talking about people more than you usually would when you are in a bad place in life?  Our dear friend PROJECTION comes into play often whether we are consciously aware or not.

 The same goes for Self- Talk, whether we INTENTIONALLY mean it or not, we must be mindful of what we say and how we think about ourselves, because we are internalizing all of these thoughts and feelings both subconsciously and unconsciously.  I know that it may sound like the craziest thing in the world- to try to control your “subconscious” thoughts but it’s possible and very important to living a healthy and happy life.

Confidence By Positive Self Talk

Throughout my life, I have often been asked, how I am so confidant in myself. I think when you have an outgoing personality and if you are LOUD which I am (LOL) this can come off as Confidence, when at times it’s not.

While I will humbly admit, that I have been fortunate enough to always have a natural confidence in myself, there have been MANY times in my life where I didn’t feel good about myself, and what I have learned to do over the past few years, is to really work on my self- talk, and I think that this has been able to provide me with a confidence, I never thought I would be capable of.

**Disclaimer** What I am saying is that sure maybe confidence comes more “naturally” for some, but it’s possible for everyone!

Personally, I think that most of us spend our lives trying to find a confidence and comfortability within ourselves. Often, we think that the solution to our problems in life lies in the hands of someone or something, such as “I will be more confidant if I have a boyfriend” or “Once my career takes off I won’t feel so unaccomplished.”

The mistake here is that when you start to think that happiness and self-love come in the form of a relationship, or a job or something materialistic, then you start to look OUTWARD to find a missing piece, when really all of our happiness and self- love, comes from WITHIN.

Speak It Into Existence

Every huge life decision in my life, prior to pulling the trigger I have made myself write down the life event and also to say it out loud(CUE PEOPLE THINKING IM A CRAZY DOG LADY SPEAKING TO MYSELF ALONE LOL).

What I mean is that there is something so powerful about speaking your thoughts out-loud and into existence. Unfortunately, this goes for both negative and positive thoughts.

Minding Your Mind

I honestly think that I bring up the power of journaling in every single blog post, because well it has saved me in my life on many different occasions.

**Disclaimer** I have committed myself to a spiritual wellness journey over the past 3+ years, this didn’t just happen over-night. I am sure for many the task of daily journaling can either seem annoying or even overwhelming- so start small and be kind to yourself!

For me I initially started journaling as another way to cope with anxious thoughts. A place where I could go to vent and to release any anxieties or frustrations from my day in the hopes of trying not to project onto other people when I was having a bad day.

Journaling then evolved into a place where I could check in on how I am doing in life, and more importantly allowed me to be able to look back and analyze how I speak and think about myself.

The “L” Word

Prior to the launch of my blog in early February, I started to become overpowered with negative self -talk. I know that we cannot be “perfect” all the time, but at this particular point in life, the negative self talk was overwhelming.

I remember going home in early January to dog sit for my parents during this period of time. Often during periods of “unknown” our minds can wander into dark places. Anyways, my website was starting to come together- and the launch date was getting closer and closer.

This particular trip home, I wanted to show my parents the website- so that they could finally see what I had been working on, and as blogs are a newer thing, maybe this would provide some clarity as to what exactly a blog was.

My parents, couldn’t have been more supportive, but because this world is all so new to them, of course they had questions for me. They were more asking exactly what I intend to use the site for and how this can be turned into a “business”.

These are all normal questions that anyone who takes interest in what your showing them would ASK, but because of the previous weeks of increased self- doubt and negative self- talk, I let my own insecurities and projections over power me and all of the sudden I broke down and out of no- where, out- loud I called myself “a loser.”

I couldn’t stop sobbing it was like the flood gates had opened up and weren’t stopping, I’m sure we have all been here. I remember going to bed that night and feeling this pit in my stomach, thinking: “You really called yourself a loser”? What was even more unsettling was not just that I called myself that, but the thoughts of “did I really think of myself like that”?  I made myself journal that night even though I was emotionally spent- and I made myself write three things I was proud of about myself.

But still I couldn’t stop thinking about how I actually called myself “a loser”, out loud and to my mom.I know this may sound silly, but due to the fact that I have made such a commitment to myself and towards my mental health, in this moment where I spoke so negatively about myself, it made me feel like I betrayed myself.

Also the fact that I spoke this into existence made me wonder how long I had been feeling this way and why? It really made me have to reflect on “My WHY”, which is just basically my life mission statement and the why behind why I launched my blog, and that is:

“Ultimately, my goal is to inspire others to use POSITIVITY, AUTHENTICITY and HUMOR to help them find the CONFIDENCE within themselves to pursue their passions and purposes in life.”

Not bad for a loser right?!

I remember up until this night in early January, I hadn’t yet picked an exact date for the blog to finally be released, but on that very night, the night I spoke about myself as a loser, that very night I committed to myself- the date I would launch the blog. No amount of self- doubt or negative self- talk would get in the way of all of my hard work.

February 12th, 2020

February 12^th, 2020 was the proudest day of my life thus far as it was the day I launched Mereygo-round!! It was also the day that I proved that nasty voice inside my head wrong and when I realized that I have all the power over my thoughts. I control my own narrative and truly there is nothing more rewarding in life, then learning to work with yourself and not against yourself.  I was able to separate a negative thought, from reality. I knew that I wasn’t a loser, in fact I was able to replace “loser” with “brave”.

 

 “Through speaking my truth and using the power of my words- my truth set my soul free in that moment from all of those feelings of self- doubt.”

 

I will say by overcoming all of the objections in the months leading up to releasing my blog, and by the power of being aware of how I am speaking and thinking of myself, I am able to better push those negative thoughts out of my head and to not internalize them.

 

Start Small

There is nothing you should invest in more than your physical and mental wellbeing, please always remember that.   Again, as I specified above, starting anything new (like journaling or meditating) can feel so daunting, so start small and be kind with yourself!

I say if you want to start journaling maybe just start by writing a short excerpt about your day every other day, or even just writing three things you like about yourself. BABY STEPS! As you start to get more comfortable with journaling, it will become more apart of your life. This is really where your self improvement comes in. Once you start journaling you are able to go back to “temperature check” yourself, to see how you are speaking/thinking about yourself.

 

Key Take Aways

• Start small and be realistic about your goals.
• Become more conscious of how you think and speak about yourself. If you notice yourself going to a negative place, try to change your thought(s).
• Surround yourself by those who build you up.
• If someone gives you a compliment (take it)!
• It’s important to be proud of yourself.
• If your to afraid to take a chance, do so anyways!
• Your mental wellbeing should be your biggest investment.

 

If we all start loving ourselves a little more overall we will have MUCH more love to give the world, and the world needs love now more than ever!

Vibes
Xo,