I Have Anxiety, Now What!?!? Part One

Living Happily and With Anxiety

I know, I know the title of this blog post seems so CHAOTIC, as anyone with anxiety reading this will say- HOW COULD ANXIETY POSSIBLY BE ANYTHING OTHER THEN THE WORST THING EVER!?!?!

HEAR ME OUT..

ANXIETY, I LOATHE YOU WITH EVERY FIBER IN MY BEING.

Anxiety BECAUSE OF YOU I ALSO KNOW I CAN HANDLE ANYTHING THAT COMES MY WAY and that’s EMPOWERING AS HELL!

ANXIETY, I STILL HATE YOU LOL..

 

Let’s Get Started

 

I have often been asked “what coping mechanisms do you use to combat anxiety”? So initially I decided I wanted to write a blog specifically on those “day to day” coping mechanism or as I call them “anxiety band-aids”.

So yes, a sloth- lavender heating pad, chamomile tea, CBD, red lights and journaling- YESSS these all tremendously help me with my day to day- and NIGHTTTTTT ANXIETY (the worst!) but over the course of the past few months- I have also learned to adapt to “Long term Coping Mechanisms” or more so even lifestyle changes that are also going to set me up for success in the fight against ANXIETY.

 

INSPIRED BY UNTAMED

  As I was brainstorming my anxiety post, I also picked up a book- I’m sure most of you have heard of- “UNTAMED” by Glennon Doyle. Don’t walk- RUN to get this book (or the simple click of your amazon app will do!)

As someone who isn’t what we would call “a book worm” I can tell you I read over 150 pages on the first day(HUGE FOR ME) legit I only ever did that with Jessica Simpson’s Memoir(OPEN BOOK) so you know this is HUGE for me!!

I was crying within the first five pages, felt like I related to each and every STORY, writing in and underlining each page with notes and key take-aways. Completely inspired and encouraged by the book- and therefore this blog post is happening!!

 **Disclaimer** I find it’s always good to explain the context behind your writing to give readers the ultimate insight into what inspired such thoughts- therefore now you know!!

 

Corona- Anxiety

 As I mentioned above, I have been working on different lifestyle changes that are helping me to navigate through my anxiety. They aren’t “band-Aid fixes” they are real life changes to how I think and operate on a day to day basis.

Here we go!

Live Presently

 Now more than ever, the unknown and looming eeriness of the fall/winter (flu season) can feel DAUNTING. Whether you are unemployed at the moment or employed with no future date to return to an actual office, there isn’t one person who isn’t affected by Corona-Virus in some way shape or form.

The Unknown and not being able to plan for the future- and overall anything that seems insanely out of our control (even though everything in life is) spark anxiety.

With the EXTREMES of the unknown and the extremeness of how much is out of our control right now- like literally you can’t even remotely plan for the future because well we have NO IDEA what is to come kind of EXTREMNESS-it’s only natural that many of us are going to be struggling mentally right now (myself included.)

Please know you are NOT ALONE.

 

With that something I have been ACTIVELY working on is trying to be diligent about not trying to control the future (because I can’t), and more importantly ENJOYING the present moment(s). Okay my Philly people I know you have heard  the term “Trust the Process” and for anyone else – how about “Life is about the Journey, Not the Destination.”

 Living PRESENTLY goes along with all of these ideas. We must focus more on the individual present moments instead of fearing and being anxious for the future- which we have NO CONTROL OVER.

 

 “Happiness Destination”

Have you ever heard of this saying? Essentially what it means is that we have been pre-conditioned to believe that the next “destination” or milestone in life will bring us happiness and not the journey along the way. It’s like were taught to live life on autopilot until you reach the “goal” at the end.

It’s the idea that happiness is what comes after the JOURNEY and that our happiness is measured based solely on the results of our Journey’s.

Instead of taking the time to appreciate the moments where you never gave up and where you learned your sense of self,  learned your self-worth and the moment where you learned to love yourself- those are all a-part of the journey those aren’t RESULTS and those all our reasons to feel happiness ALONG THE WAY.

 

For example: Leaving an unhealthy relationship

I think we often define what comes after someone leaves a relationship- that “glow up” period where they come to life again post- split as the success and happiness of the story, when in reality actually the moment here that should be counted the MOST is the moment where someone decided in their weakest moment that they choice themselves and they are choosing happiness!

SO yes, the result would be that they got out of an unhealthy relationship and paved the way for themselves to have a happy and successful life, but we need to learn to appreciate the happiness in the little moments- such as the moment you chose to leave– NOT JUST BY THE RESULTS OF WHAT IS TO COME.

P.S. Nothing is better than a post break- up glow up- but give a broken person in a bad relationship more credit and be proud of  their/your journey not just the destination.

YEP- instead we are focused on the RESULTS and not all the lessons it has taught you or the moments of happiness along the way.

It’s the idea of “the future is great” and you envisioning and dreaming up the life you WANT.

WHEN IN REALITY, you are living the life you have now and why wait for the future to experience happiness?!!?

 

LIVE PRESENTLY

  Maybe perhaps by trying to live in the “present” or “in the moment” we will be able to appreciate more things and be happy more often, without the ever present and looming anxiety of the unknown future.

The future isn’t going anywhere, but if you blink you will miss the present.

Basically, we as a society believe that either by landing a new job, or moving to a new city/country or by finding your soul mate…..

suddenly BOOM-your problems are gone and you live “blissfully” ever after.

Really sorry to break it to you but this will not make you happy and this won’t make you any less anxious. Sure ALL of those things are amazing to life, but what I am realizing is that by remaining PRESENT in the present moments, I am becoming;

1. Less anxious about the unknown of the future(screw the future I’m here now!)
2. I am learning to be happy and appreciate the small moments( a simple conversation that sparks a creative idea or makes you feel connected to someone type of thing!)
3. I am learning how to feel happiness each day in some form.

 

Essentially, It’s the art of trying to focus on “one day at a time”, and to try to focus your efforts towards giving 100% of whatever type of effort you can give each day.

Listen your level of what you can give one week verse the next or even day to day- will always vary because well WERE HUMANS- so with that LIVE PRESENTLY.

Stop competing with yourself- focus on THAT DAY not what you did more the day before – YOU ARE LIVING PRESENTLY. Don’t rob yourself of happiness by looking to the past or to the future.

I am finding that if you try to treat each DAY as a “fresh start” you won’t be so overwhelmed and anxious about the future. If your PRESENT MOMENTS are what your focusing on- things feel much more manageable!

 

 For example: I could sit down and start working on a blog. If I am living presently- the blog is my FOCUS at that moment.

If I am thinking and anxious about the future- If I try to sit down to “blog”, I then become easily distracted, which then usually turns into ONE MILLION ANXIOUS thoughts racing through my head.

Causing sheer panic- shortness of breath, the weight of the world on my chest. Anxious and hopeless for the future, not taking in the present moments.

Now I’m thinking about how I’m 28, not married/not even dating, basically starting a whole new career all while not really knowing when I will have steady income or when I can return to my Hoboken home full time- YIKESSS I AWOKE THE BEAR- ANXIETY.

So now my time “blogging” and doing what I love has turned into a completely miserable activity, when truly it should be an outlet for me.

See what happens, when you aren’t able to focus on the present moment?  I am now thinking to the future, already anxious that I’ve failed- and WORRYING to try to feel a sense of CONTROL.

Oh and now I’m too anxious to blog, instead having to dodge all the daunting and anxious thoughts about my future.

EXHAUSTING.

BUT- If you treat each DAY as a new start, and truly take the time to appreciate the simple things you will start learning that happiness isn’t a “destination” and more so something you will be able to feel happiness everyday (maybe not all day everyday but  at least a piece of happiness each day!)

 

The Dream

The late Kobe Bryant(may he rest in peace) spoke at his Jersey Retirement Ceremony about his 20- year career with the Lakers and all of the success he has had along the way. As someone playing at the highest caliber on a professional level, with extreme wealth and what seems like the epitome of “success” in life, of course people want to know how he achieved his “dreams”.

Watching Kobe’s speech, most of us would have thought that as his wife Vanessa and their children watched on as he was having not just ONE but TWO jerseys retired with about 500 million plus  in the bank, retiring after a 20 year legendary career that he was at the epitome of his success and more so “HAPPY”. Kobe instead wanted to talk about “What the Dream Actually Is” as opposed to what we think it is it.

He tried to explain that to most, they see the wealth, his championship rings and the fame that follows- thinking that’s “the dream”. Kobe instead said, the small moments, where he never gave up and instead continuously had to block out the negative noise and stayed focused on the goal- he said those moments- those are actually the dream.

 

That by choosing to NEVER GIVE UP.

 That by choosing to BELIEVE IN YOURSELF ALWAYS

 And  That by appreciating and celebrating the moments of success and happiness along the way-

 THAT IS THE DREAM- NOT JUST THE END RESULT.

 

Key Take- Away’s

The dream is the moments that you actually allow yourself to experience happiness because your present in that moment.

The dream is loving yourself enough to never give up.

 The dream is living presently so you can be HAPPY.

This post is dedicated to anyone and everyone who struggles with anxiety or any other mental illnesses/disorders. May you know you are never alone- I am here with you all!

 

Live Presently.

Part Two Coming Soon…….!

 

Vibes
Xo,