Everything is Opening Up, Now What?!

The New Normal

I’m sure I cannot be the only one who doesn’t necessarily understand exactly what opens in Phase One Verse say Phase Three or what going in “Green” or “Yellow” phase means, because well it seems to change every day and varies county to county and state to state, but here we are!

I mean LOTS AND LOTS OF CHANGES- remember the Wild WILD West of Florida? The seemingly invincible state(excuse me as I roll my eyes)- now completely shut down- while the East Coast is mimicking similar scenes at our bars-as everything is opening back up after months of social isolation!!!!

HOLY ANXIETY and HOLY JUDGEMENT am I right?!?

 I think for me what I am trying to remind myself of is that while we may not have the answers, life is opening up, and whether we are ready or not that is the reality, so we must learn how to move forward and to co- exist in our New Normal.

Judgement and Perception

I posted an Insta story the other day, basically stating that as we re-open each and every one of us will feel different about certain situations and what we are comfortable doing.

After posting the IG Story, I received a lot of feedback either asking me if people had called me out for being down the beach (which they hadn’t, at least not to my face) but also many people said how they needed to hear this message, so I thought a blog on it would be helpful (HOPEFULLY!)

I think it’s also imperative that we realize this is a huge learning curve, because this situation isn’t something ANYONE has ever experienced, and there is so much unknown. And yes, whether we like it or not, the world is starting to re- open so it’s important to find your comfort zone in this next stage of the “new normal” chapter for us all.

Also, we need to learn to be less judgmental realizing we are all humans, all trying to navigate the most impossible of times.

Additionally, as a friendly reminder- humans are NOT MEANT to NOT be around people, so many, many people are suffering tremendously right now mentally.

*Disclaimer * As a compete rule follower (catholic school guilt) I am not saying to do anything that is not yet LEGALLY permitted LOL but if it’s permitted, I humbly feel it’s not fair for people to unfairly judge those doing anything they are legally allowed to do. Playing Devils Advocate here as well, it’s also not right to pressure anyone or to judge them for being more careful then you are as well.

Different Strokes for Different Folks!

With that I do however encourage, communicating what your comfortable with if you are going to see someone and to disclose what you have been doing so that they can make a uniformed decision as well! Communication and directness will be your best friend!

Devils Advocate 

I will admit that I have probably been on the much stricter side of social isolation for my own personal reasons (immune compromised (lupus life), wanting to be able to see grandparents, rule follower, etc, etc) therefore this past week finally going down to my beach house at the Jersey Shore, felt like a HUGE leap for me and I was so anxious leading up to it!

Overall, I will say that this past week, my anxiety has diminished significantly (still there at times but at bay, compared to the past few months.)

Being able to see friends and family that I hadn’t seen for months, did wonders for my overall mental wellbeing.

At the same time however, I know that we are also plagued with the idea that by seeing more people, statistically you are increasing the probability of coming into exposure of someone with Covaid-19, which can then create anxiety and feel like a lose/lose.

Judge and Jury

Okay- so we have a lot on our minds right now am I right?!?!? Judging people for their decisions when we are all just trying to navigate, will only create more anxiety and tension in the world, nothing good comes from it.

I truly do feel like MOST OF US are trying to do the best we can, and trying to figure out what we are comfortable with, and that is an individual process but something that THE ENTIRE WORLD is facing, therefore we will never all agree, but we must all co-exist.

I honestly do feel and you can call me naïve, that there is more good in the world then bad. With that – all you Karen’s refusing to wear face masks in public places, I mark you as the bad! LOL

BOUNDARIES BOUNDARIES BOUNDARIES

MY biggest fear that fueled a lot of my anxiety about what would happen when the world finally opened up was that I would be left behind, and that if I chose to sit something out that people would think I was judging them if they participated  even though in reality I’m just making decisions best for ME.

 No two people are the same, and what’s right for me and my family may not be for you. Again however, FACEMASKS ARE GOOD FOR ALL LOL.

Additionally, it’s always a good idea to try to “use your words” and communicate your boundaries ahead of time before seeing people for the first time, so those conversations are already being planted and this can help you to keep your anxiety at bay.

Listen your TRUE FRIENDS will always support you, and if anyone gives you any s*** for being precautions- SHOW THEM THE DOOR but also do not judge them for their choices.

Communication and Boundaries:  TRUST ME they go A LONG WAY!

The Proof is in the Pudding

Don’t believe me? I was an anxiety ridden human for the past two weeks leading up to finally coming down the beach last week. I was so worried I would get stuck in situations where I had to make hard decisions, and I had those conversations ahead of time with all my friends and family about my comfort level and what I would and wouldn’t be willing to do.

What I can say is that I was met with the most supportive of people, in which not one person judged me or gave me a hard time when I took myself out of certain situations. Not that I am surprised but I think all of us are a little on edge so I had irrational fears and anxieties going into it.

In hindsight, I to also respected anyone’s decision even if I wasn’t personally choosing to par- take- mutual respect for different decisions goes a long way!!! ( I am working on this mindset for how I approach politics, but that’s a work in progress LOL)

So sure maybe I sat out a few more things then everyone I may have been with that weekend but maybe I did more than people who were browsing my Instagram would do, so it’s a learning curve for all.

In conclusion I would say that by facilitating conversations ahead of time, and by being direct about what you are comfortable doing will make it much easier to navigate this time together.

Surround yourself with good friends and family who will support you and respect your wishes. I also encourage everyone to also try to not judge, no one could have ever imagined we would be experiencing anything like this, and honestly we just don’t have all the answers yet.

As always, if something just doesn’t feel right or comfortable and you can’t explain why- trust your gut- our minds and bodies are so interconnected. Use your judgement when making choices for yourself, and try not to judge others for theirs.

Be Kind, Be Fair, Be Understanding.

Much of the vitality in a friendship lies in the honoring of differences, not simply in the enjoyment of similarities -James Fredericks

 

Sending Vibes to anyone and everyone who is struggling right now.

Vibes
Xo,